best christmas cracker jokes

24 Best Christmas cracker jokes for December!!!

Do you love a cracker joke?

Here we have put together 24 of our favourite Christmas cracker jokes – one for every day of Advent!!

best christmas cracker jokes

1. Why was the turkey in the pop group?

Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

2 What do you call a boomerang that does not come back

A stick

(Graham Bull)

3.What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps

(Kieran ‘K’ Cope)

4. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose

(Shan Evans)

5. Two snowmen were standing in a field. One said, “Can you smell carrots?”

(Pete Potty Mumford)

6. What’s a dog’s favourite carol?

Bark, the herald angels sing

7. What do snowmen have for breakfast?


8. What do you give a dog for Christmas?

A mobile bone

9. What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?

He gives them the sack

10. Why did the pony have to gargle?

Because it was a little horse

11. Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting?

Because they always drop their needles

12. What is good King Wenceslas favourite pizza?

One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even

13. What do you call a train loaded with toffee?

A chew chew train

14. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?

He had no body to go with

15.Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?

Because they were two deer

16. How do snowmen get around?

By riding an ‘icicle

17. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy

18. What is the best Christmas present?

A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

19. What has four legs but can’t walk?

A table

20. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?

Santa walking backwards

21. What do you call a blind reindeer?

No eye deer

22. What’s round and bad tempered?

A vicious circle

23. How do you know if Santa’s been in your garden shed?

You’ve got three extra hoes

24. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

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